An Introduction to Seanie

My sweet prince came into my life on September 2, 2003. He was a challenge from the start, but so sweet, cuddly, and cute, that the challenges didn't seem to matter. More than seven years later, that thought still rings true.

Sean is my middle child, and he has taught me more about what it really means to be a parent than any book or expert ever could. Children with special needs tend to do that to you. Things you would never dream of saying to an authority figure because it's not polite come rolling out of your mouth before you can stop them. Calling the same number over and over again like a crazy person until someone decides to pick up the phone becomes routine just to get help of an assistance. Going into full fundraising mode to get a really expensive and specially trained dog because you don't trust humans to have your child's best interests at heart anymore, suddenly becomes the practical thing to do. I fight for this child daily while making sure the two others I have know Mommy loves them just as much. I make appointments, therapy sessions, have strangers come into my home, all for the hopes that one day, Sean will be as normal as his brother and sister. I revel in his victories, and cry myself to sleep after he has a bad night. All of this is normal now in my daily life.

Looking back we saw the signs. An agitated newborn that refused to sleep. Oh, that's reflux or colic. Having strong aversions to food, medicines, and other items while having intense fixations on others. He's just a different kind of baby. As a toddler never wanting to play with other kids. He would slip completely out of sight. And we would find him later off by himself on a swing or in a backyard. Well, the other kids are just older than him and he has no one to play with. Looking back it was all there. We just thought it was just bad behavior, second-child syndrome, anything but a real problem.

Preschool started reporting problems just as Sean turned 5. He was unable to sit at all during circle time or instruction. He couldn't communicate properly with other children. He was hyper and overwhelmed them. He would fixate on something and wander off to play with it instead of staying with his class. The first trips to the pediatrician and therapists began, and Sean was diagnosed with ADHD. I wasn't sure it was the correct doagnosis, but it was an explanation for Sean's behavior, so we went with it.

Medication helped, until he went to kindergarten and lost the small and supportive confines of preschool. The phone calls and e-mails started almost immediately. Sean didn't have a good day, Sean couldn't stay in his seat, Sean was mean to another child, Sean was disruptive in class. The school district we were in at that time was not willing to provide any help or support, but the phone calls and e-mails continued. That's about the time the hour-long tantrums started. Nothing we said or did calmed him down. Just out of frustration one day I called the insurance company in tears, begging for help. UPMC directed us to our first wraparound agency. We were able to put counselors in the school and keep Sean somewhat under control. We started medications. In the end, none of it really seemed to work.

Halfway through Sean's kindergaren year, we changed wraparound agencies. Our first meeting with them and the school, the new agency read through Sean files, looking more confused as they read. They stopped the principal and Sean's teacher, who were trying to explain his year up to that point, and demanded to know why he had never been tested for Asperger's....

That question hit me like a punch to the gut. I knew Asperger's meant autism, and it took everything I had not to start crying in that meeting. The new counselors saw the look on my face and tried to assure me that Asperger's wasn't a bad diagnosis. Obviously no one ever told them their child might have it.

Sean was evaulated by that agency, along with two psychologist from the Autsim Center, and the diagnosis was confirmed.

Since then we've had a lot of therapy, a lot of fighting, and a lot of victories as well. This blog will share things that have happened, and the things that are yet to come.