How Do You Silence The Critics?

The title of this blog is a question I have been trying to answer since Sunday, when a conversation over a couch turned very ugly.

My mother was on the phone with my uncle. She was asking him to take a couch that is currently being stored in our garage and move it to his house, where he has quite a bit more storage room. Our goal is to try and get the garage cleaned out and set up with toys for all three kids for the summer months. Somehow in the midst of my uncle agreeing to take the couch, the conversation turned to Sean.

My mom was telling my uncle about Sean's progress and therapy and we have been doing to raise funds for him and Sophia. Apparently my uncle wasn't too impressed.

He then got off on a rant and told my mother that there was nothing wrong with Sean. He doesn't have Asperger's or any other disability. He's fine, he just behaves badly and we don't control him. As far as the fundraising goes, apparently he thinks it's a scam, I'm just taking people's money, and nothing is going to come out of it.

I don't know which part of what he said upset me more...that nothing is wrong with Sean, or that he in essence called me a thief and a scam artist.

I wish I could say there was nothing wrong with Sean. I wish I could say he didn't have Asperger's. I wish Sean was a completely normal kid. Sean himself wishes all of that as well. We're not going around saying he has Asperger's because it's a cool thing to do or we want attention. We say it because he does in fact have it. The diagnosis has been confirmed by two psychologists and and endless amount of counselors and therapists who have worked directly with Sean. My uncle spends a few minutes around Sean a handful of times a year, and that's enough evidence in his mind to conclude all of us are wrong.

I want to make something clear to everyone: We choose to make Sean's story public not because we want attention for ourselves, sympathy, money, or anything else. We choose to make his story public to bring attention to the condition of Asperger's Syndrome. My uncle is living proof that this disorder is still very misunderstood, our old school district is proof that there is still not enough being done to help children with this disorder, and Sophia is hope that there are wonderful avenues of therapies out there that could help my little boy improve and lead as normal of a life as possible. This is why we go public with our journey, both our struggles and our triumphs. There isn't any huge reward in it for us. I don't plan on going Hollywood here. I just want the opportunity to help my own child, and others who need it as well.

It hurts when your own family doubts you and your efforts. How can someone related to you think such awful things? If I want to help Sean though I can't dwell on it. I take comfort in the fact that most of my family has been extremely supportive, and we have a legion of friends and even strangers that support us as well. That love definitely trumps the hate, and we will accomplish what we need to for Sean, no matter what anyone else thinks otherwise.