Some events of the weekend really started making me think. I don't think I walk on eggshells so much when it comes to Sean himself. Not much scares you there when you've been through multiple hours-long meldowns, dealing with red tape, and the occasional impulsive activity like trying to ride a ceiling fan (and yes, the piece of the fan Sean broke off trying to do just that is currently sitting upstairs in my bedroom.)
I think it's more that I walk on eggshells of the autism in general. Going to church on Easter Sunday, we decided to attend a non-denominational service where the kids could go into other rooms for church. I was fine with that, until I realized all three kids were getting split up into separate rooms. I instinctively found myself clinging to Sean and saying to the person directing us into the room "Sean has Asperger's. Should I talk to the people watching him?" I found myself not wanting to leave him at all, and when the service was over, Sean was the first kid I picked up.
I also notice that I hover at soccer practice, art class, and a lot of other places I take Sean. I sign him up for all of this, thinking I'm letting him be a normal kid, but am I really letting him do that after all? I always make sure everyone in charge knows his condition and make them promise to call immediately if Sean gets upset. Is that really necessary all the time?
I guess the ultimate answer I came up with is yes and no. Sean has a legitimate disability and people who deal with him should be warned. Think back to his poor occupational therapist who got things thrown at her when Sean first started there! But then again, he's not going to do that in every single new situation I put him in, especially if it's something he has an interest in. So maybe it's a good idea to mention Sean has a condition, but step back and just let things happen as they do. I think it's something I have to learn quickly, because Sean himself is starting to say "Mom, you're embarrassing me!"
Like any other kid, the trick is figuring out when to let go.
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